In which I outline some ground rules and disclaimers, and introduce myself

Disclaimers:

• Language: I swear. I use neologisms and LOLcat and all kinds of other dubious linguistic choices. I frequently go back and edit entries for inconsequentially awkward phrasing. I also tend to be wordy as fuck. I have no plans to change this for whatever readership this blog develops, if any. 
• Language, the Caveating: I do try to avoid dehumanizing/demeaning language, so if you are offended by my word choices in that realm, please let me know. I've been known to use subtly ableist words like "lame" (and less subtle ones, like "f-tarded") without thinking it through; please consider this a sincere pre-emptive apology and call my attention to it if you see them. I do use some somewhat gendered epithets like "bitch" and "douchenozzle" and don't plan to stop.)
• Politics/Commenting: Since body size intersects with politics in many ways, my political, religious, and ideological opinions may come out in the course of blogging. My give-a-damn about your objections to them is directly correlated to your level of courtesy in stating it. The same goes for comments in general.
• Weight goals: I recognize that by joining the Plan, I'm committing to having goals quantified by weight loss. I may mention these goals here, and even congratulated myself for meeting them, although I plan to keep them in thoughtful perspective. 
• Clichés: I hereby solemnly swear to all the gods that be that I will never, ever 
• refer to certain foods as "bad" (except things like tofu shirataki noodles, which are fucking disgusting);
• use a graphical ticker to represent my goals, not even the one with the cute little turtle;
• straightfacedly refer to this as my "weight loss journey"; or
• take a picture of myself standing next to or inside my former pants.
• Ignorance: I consider myself very size positive, but I don't have an exhaustive knowledge of the fat activism movement or blogosphere, nor am I particularly interested in acquiring one. Linking me to specific articles and honest critique of my outlook is very appreciated, but berating me for not already having an exhaustive grasp of specific bloggers or sources, or pinging me for not using the latest and greatest in accepting terminology, is not.
• Laziness: I am also a very lazy linker; I can identify six or seven terms above that I really ought to be linking to in these two initial posts, but seriously, it's called Google, kids.
• Golden Rule: My body is not your body, my choices are not your choices, and I do not wish them to be. Deciding that CPAP treatment of apnea is an acceptable lifelong decision is absolutely valid. It bothered me on a deep visceral level, but my viscera are not your viscera.
• Golden Rule, Continued: I have decided to make lifestyle changes within the conceptual framework of the Plan, which inherently values weight loss. That doesn't mean I think any other individual should lose weight, or gain it; hell, it doesn't even mean I think I "should" lose weight. It just means that I think the tools and the social structure will help me have more thoughtfulness about and control of my behavior change, and at this time I'm willing to pay the Plan for them on that basis.
• Gossip/Personal Critique: I may at times be bitchy and pessimistic and critical about the Plan, the process of weight loss, or many other things, but I am making a conscious choice to not depict specific people I encounter.This is not to say that I won't be discussing interpersonal behavior or generalizations about personality types, just that I'll be doing my best to separate the behavior (like foodphobic comments) from the person. If individuals are mentioned, please rest assured that they are composites, not individual character studies. [Edit 7/10/2012: I am amending this somewhat; I do find myself drawn to analyzing particular Plan leaders' approaches and assessing them critically, and because I'm working with a limited data set, some of those portraits are a little more specific to the individual. I sort of feel this is justified, because they're not random people off the street; they're paid representatives of the Plan's parent company. Still, I'll try to avoid ad hominem and identifying details as much as possible.]
• Timeliness: I plan to post here weekly, to roughly coincide with the Plan's weekly weigh-ins, but I don't promise updates on a particular day. I have enough changes to my life that I'm "seriously" tracking already, without adding another.

Here are some facts about me:

• I identify as fat because I'm fat. At 5'2" and 220 pounds, I am starting out juuuust shy of "morbidly obese". This tends to surprise people around me, as I wear it well -- I have large breasts and a (proportionally) small-waisted hourglass figure-- but I do carry a lot of weight on a fairly small frame.
• Clothes-wise, I wear anywhere from an XL to a 2X on top and somewhere between a 16 and 18 in pants -- sometimes straight sizes, sometimes plus. Despite my height, I don't tend to wear petite clothes, because I've got a long torso and petite pands tend to shrink and show my ankles. This makes me a leeeeetle larger than an "inbetweenie", but I can only just barely shop at Lane Bryant.
• About those boobs: My bra size is 36-38*cough* -- I censor not from modesty, but from there not being a consistent size label for "10-12 inches' difference between bust and band measurements." (Yep, 100% natural.) Bra shopping is hell. [Edit: as of July 2012, the official measurement is 36H, down from 38HH.]
• I've got a full set of measurements for my current size, for my own reference, but I don't really feel the need to share them here, as this isn't a benchmarking journal.
• I'm mostly healthy, aside from some well-treated anxiety and depression issues. My blood sugar, BP, and cholesterol are all normal, and you wish you had my HDL.
• I have "wonky" knees (I've always gotten tendinitis really easily), so I gravitate toward low-impact exercise.
• I'm an omnivore without any dietary restrictions other than mild lactose intolerance that I mostly ignore; a mostly-not-picky eater; and a lazy advocate of Michael Pollan's pronouncement "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." I read labels and try to avoid aggressively fake food and artificial sweeteners.
• That said, I don't buy organic, because I'm a cheapskate; I do eat processed foods for which there is no non-processed equivalent, like Cheetos; and most of my shopping gets done at the local chain grocery store, not the co-op.
• I love my body, fat or not. I'm sexy as hell, and feel far better about my body at 31 years old and 220 pounds than I did at 18 years old and 120. I have many great features, and a few I'm not crazy about. I'm definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm well appreciated by a certain percentage of everyone.

Oh, and some really basic stuff:

• I'm female.
• I'm a feminist.
• I'm bisexual.
• I'm married, to a man. Our relationship falls somewhere between polyamorous and monogamish. (I doubt that'll come up much, but it nevertheless exists.)
• I'm white.
• I'm nerdy.
• I have no kids, nor do I plan to, though I like other people's.
• I have two dogs who are too small to make "walk the dog" a cardiovascularly challenging activity.
• I live in the American Midwest, in a medium-sized town.